first of all I am very gratefull to you for paying attention to my comment and for your answer!
I trust your words because I read each Brain Accelerator article thoroughly and I see it explains many situations we perceive but are worried to explain and understand ourselves. Even though I am not a native speaker I take the effort to translate each article thoroughly .
I, to be honest, did not even suppose to obtain any answer. I obtained an answer from you – and it is not just some answer. It is something showig the truth – it describes fault in my life briefly but exactly. A victim. In my fancy I learned to create “second me” or “anti-me” – a person who is oposite to me and imagination of which helps me when I feel helpless. The person has a simple characteristics: a fighter. I have to start learning from this entity – for I feel well when I think of this one and very poor when I am myself.
I think this is the way – it is very easy to visualist this entity for me. But I have to start learning from this one – learning to fight for my aims.
I was grown up in a belief that it is the best thing to obey parents – to obey completely and limitlessly. To do something you do not like doing completely and limitlessly leads to destruction. I am very creative person (I love design, painting, drawing, music, etc.) but I studied economics because my parents belived it is the best for me. I got out of my path. I think it will be very hard fight to get back on the track. Is there any mean or help to give me strenght in this way?
Today it is my 29th birthday and I feel I am just where I was when I was a child. I have not moved an inch forwards.
Anyway I am very gratefull for your answer – even for noticing me. Sometimes I feel so small. It is a great help to see that someone so special like you cares for me.

I wish you all the best and a lot of success.

With kindest regards,

Caryn

There are clearly 2 ways to look at this, maybe more. In short, during your life you have chosen, whether you knew it or not, to be a victim. Being a victim is a mind set. It can first be created by circumstance or beliefs. It becomes a potent driving force in your life. The second way is the self-fulfilling prophecy. We become who we believe we are. As you had visualized all those years, did you ever think you could change the picture, the end result?

I am keeping this short out of respect for your privacy. By your previous encounters with your visualizations does strongly suggest that you well may be headed in the direction you fear. The ONLY person that can change things is you. Change the picture! Change the outcome. Pledge that you are no longer the victim. I know it isn’t easy. This is a way of believing that you are more likely to fight to keep, rather than to give it up. Humans are complex. Good Luck!

thank you for really interesting articles!

As a schoolchild I was the best in class and in full health. I loved to do different sports. But pressures from my family on my school results were higher than I could fulfill and it stressed me very much. I wished to get out from the pressure. Manytimes I imagined myself as someone with a frail health who is doing nothing but going for walks with a dog. During my university studies I suddenly got very ill -from one day to another I was taken to hospital. I felt terribly worried to go to hospital. I was always very afraid of doctors and hospitals. The treatments did not help – all had just oposite impact on me than supposed. They cripled me and it resulted in psychical problems.
I felt doctors will destroy me even before I was sent to hospital. I had no choice, my family organised the treatments for me.

This was 7 years ago. Where am I today? I am 29, very weak, with frail health, able to do no work. I have never been able to work. I even could not finish my university studies. I stay at home and go for walks with my beloved dog Sheila.
How did I know it? I am just the same as I saw myself in my imagination when I was a schoolchild! But I am terribly unhappy in this state. I did not belive my own vision which warned me.

Now I struggle with changing my visions and imagination of myself in the future. Even though I try so hard, my belly-ache always brings me back to the point I am in and does not let my visions change. I even see me as a homeless beggar sometimes. Is there any way out of here for me?

I have been doing some work with a couple of identical twins on resolving some connection / disconnection issues. I find the developmental differences have quite an impact on the hemispheric dominance and life preferences. I have a very unique perspective, and can clearly see why you would want to tap into his abilities. (chuckle)

Shannon