Soar with Eagles
Roost with Chickens
When my clients start working with me to gain the objectives of improving their life, one of the first things I ask is, “How many people have direct influence over your life, such as your spouse, children, friends, relatives, etc.?” This lays down a specific directive for my client to assess.
Why should you care? These are the same people that have been influencing you throughout your life. How do you think they will react to you making significant change in your life without consulting with them first? Some will think you are leaving the fold. Others will take steps to put you back into ‘your box’, so they do not need to make changes in their expectations of you.
The Path of Self-Improvement
When you first start on the path of self improvement, you will usually start alone; and most likely you will continue to walk this path alone. It is a very personal experience. Have you ever wondered why? I don’t often refer to songs, but there is one song that should be your mantra when you set out on the path of self improvement. The song is, “I Walk Alone” by Green Day. The lyrics fit the circumstances perfectly.
Once you really get moving along your path, you will become excited with your progress. Of course you will feel inclined, even passionate, to tell others. This new way you have adopted is making you feel great! So, should you suggest to your partner that he or she should be making changes likewise; maybe similar changes to the ones you have made?
Just because you are making positive changes in your life does not mean that anyone else wants to. Most likely they will consider in an insult if you suggest that they follow a similar course of action. Some may believe you think less of them if they choose not to do what you are suggesting.
An Example Aside:
I am blessed with accumulating a tremendous amount of valuable information. Recently, I had the opportunity to help a friend that has a progressive cancer. He has everything and everyone to live for. He has a worthwhile life – better than most people. Without him asking, I provided him with some specialized information, so that he has options to live longer and healthier. I gave him this information without expectation that he would ever read it, or do anything about it. When I gave it to him, I even told him that, “I did not expect him to do anything with it. But it was there for him if he chose to.”
It is unfortunate that he has chosen not to get around to it. It saddens me.
People don’t change People,
Crisis Changes People
Moral Support vs. Standing Alone
If you get moral support from those around you, feel blessed. Most people must walk their path lonely, and without support. Once in a while you may meet someone that is on a similar path as you; a kindred spirit. This is the Law of Attraction at work. Often these are the best people to be co-supportive with. Look for these people to appear. It is nice to find a friend while traversing adversity.
You may think my choice of the word “adversity” may be a negative way of thinking about doing something positive for yourself. Please take a moment to think about why we are driven to improve ourselves to begin with. Our dissatisfaction in ourselves is the reason why we pursue to improve our life. If we were not dissatisfied, there would be no reason to do anything in that direction. There are 2 specific rules here:
The need to change is greater than the burden to stay the same
The only constant in life is CHANGE
But you already know that people do not like change and resist it. It is in our nature. The “adversity” comes from the internal battle of contradiction.
Change is Inevitable
Benefit of Change
There is Benefit for you when you do things of your own accord, and without the coddling support you may wish you had. When you take on the risk, and potentials of both failure and success, it gives you a great sense of self-worth and feeling of accomplishment when you succeed. In reality, when you take on the risk for yourself, you will always put more effort into achieving success. Thus you are more likely to succeed. You are now confident to move forward and take more steps along your path.
On the other hand, if you are hand-fed and coddled through the experience, you will not have the opportunity to gain that sense of accomplishment; your reward for facing the struggle.
My recommendations for you, is to understand the pitfalls and proceed with “eyes wide open”. At least this way you will not be deterred from your path when the wolves are snapping at you. At times you may even feel that you have made a mistake by wanting to improve yourself. That is just your old resistance coming to the forefront. Your biggest battles will be waged within first. Once you overcome those battles and your older self, nothing can stand in your way to ultimate success.
Good Luck. The road of self-improvement is a rocky one. Prepare yourself accordingly.